Lately, i've been fed up, tired, nostalgic, trying to keep the positive energy flowin'.  It's hard at times to stay positive.  I'm fed up a little with my parents, i'm really kind of an adult now, so stop worrying so much, and let me live, like you taught me how, like you raised me.  Honest, i love my parents, they are amazing human beings for dealing with so much, but cut me some slack, i know what's up, i know how to take on life from now.  I miss my florida lovelies so bad, i miss them, it's ridiculous, i hope i get a visit soon.  I don't know, Wendy is strange, she told me these things, & none of it's really been so true, so far.  But, i'm young, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have gone to her, i don't really have my mind grasped around something so certain, it's kind of everywhere.  this blog is honestly about nothing, and just whatever comes to my mind as i'm writing this.  I have a headache, and i never really get those.  8:00-5:00 two different jobs.  Hello adulthood.  I've also realized, i have a hard time trusting people.  How do I know you really feel this way about this?  Or how do i know you won't tell anyone this?  Or how do i know you won't just be there for me for a few days, and then stop after that.  I am pretty tough, dealt with a lot of crap from a lot of people.  It's not that I can't handle being treated like this, it's just that i hate it.  anyways, this was a ridiculous blog. goodnight.

laurenashley

Lately...

So, thursday was my last day of high school.  Thank God.  It was glorious.  Anyway, I've decided that I'm done dealing with people's(they're supposed to be my friends) crap.  First of all, you think that it's okay, to treat me like crap, and only call me or talk to me, when YOU need something.  Not for my friendship or anything.  Second of all, I'm sorry that you are going absolutely no where in life, I apologize for that really I do.  I'm so sick of you guys I'm sick of it.  

So tomorrow is graduation practice, and since i've cut it out with all my friends, i'll be alone at it, alone at graduation, celebrating it, with, my family.  That's all that matters, I love my family.  So anyway the yesterday I had a hang out sesh with cookie and chinako, it was a good day at american app. the observatory, karma coff.,   amoeba.  i loved it.

june 4, 2008

Woke up, got dressed up for a mock interview in econ.  Changed, failed a vocabulary test, socialized dealt with fake friendships, left early actually ate a few bites of chicken, came home, back to school, took pictures, came home, grandma told me to get the "things" aka my effing moles on my face removed and asked why it didnt bother me,waited for a pointless tutoring session, cried, realized my dad... really... doesnt care... picked up court, went to play volleyball, got kicked out of the sports center, came home, rode my bike, did homework, broke down, cried, was forced to tell my mom why i was crying, and she told me if i didnt tell her that i was supposed to sleep on the couch by their room, because they always fear that i'm going to harm myself, again.  i'm done.

So yesterday I went shopping with the mom.  We went to the district, and it was freezing, and smelled like chimneys with Christmas sounding music in the background.  I told my mom it felt like christmas, and it made me sad.  What's with the weather being 90 last week, to freaking 50 this week?  Really Jesus, really?  Anyway, i'm over everything, and i give up.  Really though.   It's fine, you try to be a nice person, but i just waste my energy because people aren't nice back.  I'm trying, alright?  Get outttt.  Anyway, i should probably stop with this, two weekends in a row, i'm on a streak?  Not in a good way either.  I will hopefully find the time to write in this as graduation is approaching.  but for now, i will say goodbye. 

<3laurenash

It's only 9:14 AM, i've been at work for an hour and it feels like it's been 5. Yesterday was a freaking coming together of the universe. How does Wendy know something about myself that i do not? Maybe everything was just so far put in the back of my mind. I dont know, i am now going crazy, everytime i remember what she said about everything i freak out, i need to listen to this tape. ASAP, does any one have a tape player? My freaking life, miley cyrus just came on the xm radio, can she not be 5 years old and richer than my whole entire family combined? Thanks freak. Anyway, i'm trying to distract myself and work on my english project. But it's not working, maybe wendy just pulled that out, because it's kind of the only dude i'm talking to, she just probably didn't understand the relationship, yeah... that's it... she doesn't get it, and the universe is wrong wrong wrong. and i hate putting myself in freakin' awkward situations.
thanks guys. thanks
-lor

Jacob Marshall.

Jacob Marshall.
Originally uploaded by laurenklein

i'm just testin' out this new blog this photo feature.

& that means, he'll still be in your heart?

So yesterday I had a family picnic, with all my cousins.  We sat and ate, and played around at the park.  One of my cousins, he's older than me, has 3 daughters, and a wife.  He's going to Iraq, as a mercenary, for 7 months.  His youngest daughter is a year old, and his oldest is 4.  My cousin was explaining to me how he was telling his oldest about his trip so far away, for such a long time.  He had said that she already had an idea of what was to go on.  And she was telling him about her grandpa (his dad) who lives in Utah, and she said "You'll still be in my heart, like your dad lives so far away, and is still in your heart."  So, I teared up a little, this 4 year old girl, trying to deal with such a difficult thing, something I wouldn't even at my own age, wouldn't be able to handle.