i am crazy.

I think I made myself sick today from just being emotionally not right in the head. I've been putting too much off, and am being totally ridiculous. I hate what i've let myself get to. From here on out, i'm going to be a better person. I've been disrespecting myself lately, and i'm a little hurt by it. ALRIGHT, life, let's see whatcha got.
i'm honest to god REALLY ready now.

goodnight.

shout out to, my babyloves, tonight was outta sight!
<3
shineykleinyyourpersonaldiscoball.
:)
i love life.

listening: dont panic- coldplay

a break from Me Talk Pretty One Day.
my life at times feels like it's on constant repeat.
i need to chill out on chilling so hard.
i need to stop eating things that are bad for me.
i need to get back to getting myself back together.

todays tuesday, i didnt go to class, i need to pay my lab fee, i have to develop a roll of film, i need to buy my book, i have to get my parking pass.

ready, break.
:/

cwaff.

< julie said i had to myspace that picture. i wasn't feeling it. but, putting it up on here is almost just as good? Oh, i dont know.

Yesterday was a chilling day. Kicked it hard, with some fine people. I love spontaneous days, well, my life i guess is somewhat spontaneous- i try to be as spontaneous as my life allows. Make sense? Probably not.

The other night, two of my cousins came over and we baked red velvet cupcakes, mmm. And then afterwards we cruised pch and realized we were chillin and had a lot in common, haha.

I need to get back on to this positive train of thought. THINKINGPOSITIVE from here on out, got that?

I'm at work right now, coffee all up in my system, making me awake n shit, feeling good. I REALLY want to goto cochella. I'll go, all three days, all i have to do is just save money. :)

Again on the level of you being a complete moron, I don't care anymore, that's what's up.
haha, enjoy that bullshit.

this morning on the way to work, I went through my dad's cd case that i found, and popped in his old rolling stones album. I was totally bummed i left my greatest hits of the faces and another stones album at carolyn's house. But- anyway, it made my drive awesome.
it's so beautiful outside today.
i'm going to go enjoy after i get off.
that's for sure.
<3

this morning, i woke up, from a shitty three hours of "sleep." i decided i wanted to take a pch cruise on the way to work this morning. the sun kept peeking through the clouds, but didn't actually have a chance to shine to her fullest extent. It was okay, i understood, i wouldn't have come out either if i had big buggin' rain clouds in the way. I ended up pulling over by the bead shop, got out and walked down the stairs that lead closer to the ocean. I took plenty of deep breaths, and mustered up as many clear sober thoughts as i could. It was refreshing to hear nothing but the waves crashing, and to feel nothing but the cold air, and it's mist agasint my face.
For some reason, i'm always drawn to the ocean. No matter, where i want to take a drive to, no matter how far, no matter what's on my mind, i always end up near the water. I dont know what it is, but there's something that is just so calming about it all. I'm not going to lie right now, i'm extremely destroyed. I got fucked up last night, and i want to be normal right now, and not dealing with a super bad hang over at work, but i can't help it.

I really hate it when people say one thing, and then do another.
Say anything, but say what you mean.
having a way with words, gets you no where, if it's not genuine.
get over yourself. who are you kidding? yourself, i guess.
<3
here is to feeling a little bit better and not throwing up on the way to work... or at work.

stoked.

it's exciting when you start getting stoked on life again. school starts tomorrow, and this just means, expanding the walls of my mind and letting the good stuff flow on in. new subjects, new surroundings, new routine, new PEOPLE.

i'm going to start, for real, i am ready.

here we go.

I've decided.
I would like to take more pictures of people in their natural habitat.

A portrait of people in their natural habitat.
how does that sound?

freaking amazing?
yeah, i know.

tonight will be fun.

it's been a few days.
so, today, breakfast with the besties, and a visit to an old teacher. extremely chill day.

i dont know i'm too tired to write what i want to, so i'll try and remember and save it for tomorrow.
goodnight.
lauren