my freaking life.

I'm currently feeling emotions right now, crying as I'm writing this, like a human being... I've been told that that's a good thing.  Tears have filled my eyes, and it was fine before when I  was with Cookie and Chinako on the way home from Arizona.  But, i'm just alone and sad now.

My four whole years in high school, have all led up to the next few months.  I don't know what to say, or how to say it, so this is going to sound dumb.  

I'm 17, I was 14 when i started listening to mae.  I don't know how to put it, but they have effected my life so much.  From their lyrics/music to the people i've met, Cookie and Chinako,  i can't express how much you both have helped me with my random time in life/struggle.  You guys understand everything and are both amazing people.  Chinako, i want everything to work out, I need you to please do everything to help make it work.  I know you think other wise, but, i really want to see this work, i'm so sad about it right now, the both of you, please.  Cookie, you are really my sister, i'm serious, you are full of insight, and are helping me not turn into a loser.  When you told me about when you were driving away from vegas, and you had turned around and realized that everything would be different, that's how i felt today, you guys have no idea how these whole four days really have changed my life.  FYI, i'm sobbing worse than in the car right now.  Honestly you are the two best people that i know.  Cliche or not, i swear to you that if i ever let myself loose you guys as friends, I would die. 

 & Dear benj/dad, i'm glad you guys adopted me before I turn 18.  Anyway, for me, and I'm pretty sure it goes for Chinako and Cookie as well, you had our night end on an awesome note, and made me feel a little bit better about being a teenager in todays freaking world.  I hope you know that you are a good guy, and have a good heart.  Thanks.