Well, eff.

Hello.  I had spent last night at my cousin's house, to get away from all the chaos.  It was a nice time spent with my cousin, aunt, and uncle.  They were really there for me in my time of need, do i make things sound more serious then they are most of the time?  Not this time though.  My aunt prayed with me, and for the first time in a while, i felt a spiritual connection with God.  Because lately, i've been so distant, like you can't even imagine.  Everything happens for a reason, that's basically a "quote" i live by, even when things are really fucked up and out of control, it happens for a reason.  Just like what's happening right now, and why we lose the friends we do, you may not know it now, but you will later on in life.  I suck at writing, but I enjoy venting and things like this.  

I've been trying to repatch(?) my old relationships with friends.  I've had too many relationships that are ended or not really talked about for the lamest reasons, kind of laziness i guess.  And since i've been trying to become a better person, this helps.  A few friends are willing to start talking again and some really just don't care about it/you and like to hold grudges.  Or when your friend gets upset with you, and stops talking to you right on the spot, but won't tell you why she's mad or what you did was wrong.  It makes me feel like a bad person.  But I figure, if you're going to act like that, why do i need you in my life?  I don't.